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a Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "make me one with everything"

Hans Van Harken @AlmightyHans

31, Male

Joined on 8/6/04

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AlmightyHans's News

Posted by AlmightyHans - October 31st, 2008

click here to go to the correct post.

Posted by AlmightyHans - October 29th, 2008

Hello everyone, Hans Van Harken here.

I'm finally putting together this comic book collab i started way back. and I'm reaching the final stage... ads. I'm shopping around for ads.

For 200$ a page in the comic book will be yours to advertise your company/website/or whatever it is you wish to advertise. But remember, what's the most important thing about ads? They need to look flashy, appealing, and attractive, and they need to grab the viewer's interest. so keep that in mind!

Distribution: I'm mainly going to start off selling them online, but will be found in a few scattered comic book stores in the San Francisco Bay Area, California. But of course, this comic book business is just starting so I have to start small.


in the comments below, if you have any questions, write them. if you are interested, pm me your info, and what you are advertising. no porn.


Posted by AlmightyHans - October 18th, 2008

I really want to say thanks for being supportive about my gayness. Really, I thought it wasn't going to be taken very well. See it didn't go too well with my family, and it's good to know that my real family (you guys) is cool with it.

But enough of this emotional bullshit. I'm still the same good old Hans so lets put all this behind ourselves and jump back to reality.


Also, I submitted a song for halloween. Check out my latest song in the Audio Portal.

Posted by AlmightyHans - October 3rd, 2008

Listen guys. This isn't some Newgrounds gay joke, I'm being completely serious about this, and I want you to take me serious for a moment please. This is very important and most of all hard for me to do... I'm gay, a faggot, homo, whatever you want to call it. I'm gay and i've known it since i was like 5. I grew up in a pretty strict catholic environment and eventually came out at age 16 to my family [which didn't go well]. No I'm not Catholic I'm Atheist. Point is I hate myself for it. I absolutely hate the living core of myself for it. For many reasons.

One, I hate being labeled. I hate being labeled with the reputation that gays have developed for themselves.

Two, growing up all through my childhood I've always heard nothing but negative things about homosexuality, most of this being bullshit, i know. But that stuff still is engraved in my head and still goes through my mind whenever I love someone. Therefore, I have trouble accepting the fact that I love someone.

Three, I am not flamboyant, and do not prefer flamboyant and/or very female-like gays. I'm just a dude that likes dudes who also happen to like dudes... if that makes any sense.

Four, I have no self confidence. Gays have lots of that. I might seem like am self confident. But all I do is hide my lack of it with silliness.

[There are more reasons, but prefer not going through them.]

I had to say this because starting from today, I plan on actually getting over the fact that my bullshit insecurity about my sexuality has taken over me, and I am oh so fucking sick of it. I need to grow up and go on. One thing I want to make clear is that there is a difference between a homosexual, and a pervert, and I am not a pervert. If you catch me pulling any gay sounding comments, or any sexually themed topics. Do not consider that I might be coming on to you because you are a man. Gays don't like you cause you're a guy, they just like men. Besides, the sexually related comments, art, animation and such that I make public of are always intentioned to be taken as sarcasm [except for this news post of course]. So if you have a problem with me and my genetic glitch, you have 3 possible answers:

A: Go fuck yourself you stupid cunt.
B: I'm sorry.
C: Oh well.

Take your pic.

p.s. let me emphasis on this. dick jokes and gay jokes make me lol. Nothing there has changed.

Posted by AlmightyHans - September 28th, 2008

I think that Newgrounds should take advantage of the fact that it's logo is a tank , the color scheme is yellow and black, and the coined phrase is 'everything by everyone' and adopt the old Propaganda poster style for their posters/banners/ads/ and basic design. I made this because i've always wanted to see something like this. I think i'll start a series of these things.

check out the full version here.

Newgrounds Propaganda

Posted by AlmightyHans - September 26th, 2008

I lol'ed

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Posted by AlmightyHans - September 25th, 2008

I actually got down and started playing the madness scene editor on the front page and made the image below.

Happy [late] Madness Day!

Posted by AlmightyHans - September 22nd, 2008

In the year 1999 Hans Van Harken purchased one of his most beloved games of all time:


and today, exactly 9 years later, he has finally beaten the fucking game. And now, I can safely say

"fuck those tribals suck. but once you beat it, it is the most satisfying thing in the galaxy"

so yeah. i fucking beat the game. took me 9 years.

let's celebrate:

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Posted by AlmightyHans - September 21st, 2008

Okay, so i'm planning on adding a section onto my website where i will list a bunch of stuff i've helped in any way make, either voice, visual, or whatever. I'm trying to find all the movie and games and stuff or whatever i've helped on. By my memory sucks, spread the word and let me know anything i've missed so far. please provide me with a link in the comments of the stuff you might know i helped on. or pm me. etc.


Posted by AlmightyHans - September 17th, 2008

I was not aware of this:

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also, usually these youtube fan videos are lame but this one made me lol:

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