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a Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "make me one with everything"

Hans Van Harken @AlmightyHans

31, Male

Joined on 8/6/04

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AlmightyHans's News

Posted by AlmightyHans - April 22nd, 2009

I decided to make my own "(Movie) In 5 Seconds" video.

/* */
There's this thing called Xtranormal I discovered where you type stuff out and have these 3D puppet things act out stuff. so i fooled around with it and made this:

/* */
And I just feel like posting this one again just for more people to be weirded out.

/* */
I'll probably post more videos later.

Posted by AlmightyHans - April 19th, 2009

I was talking to him online and he threw a baby picture at me after a long time trying to convince him to. It's no wonder he hasn't made his baby visually public:

I promised Tom Fulp not to do this.

Posted by AlmightyHans - April 14th, 2009

First off,

I'd like to thank people for such a positive response from most people. I have to admit, i didn't think this movie would do well at all on this site. For the simple fact that it's very short, and is a bit slow to reach such a simple punch-line. Whatever the case, you guys surpassed my expectations. But the best part is, those few people who were bound to be offended by my ridiculous cartoon. They always leave interesting reviews. They're funny.

Check them out.

At Heaven's Gates

Posted by AlmightyHans - April 1st, 2009

The most populated country in the world can now share all the love, creativity, art, collaborative efforts, and dick jokes as one. This is a big step for Newgrounds, but more importantly, Chinese history!


Welcome, China!

Posted by AlmightyHans - March 26th, 2009

First off,

I'd like to thank those who helped out my little starting business by purchasing the "One Shot" comic book collaborative project.

However, It's felt a little mysterious. I guess I'm used to the Newgrounds system in that I instantly receive feedback through reviews. I would like for those who purchased to write a review of it. Give me an idea of what you thought as a first issue for ODD Comics. This way I can make sure the next one is better.

So go ahead, spill the beans below.

Posted by AlmightyHans - February 20th, 2009

Check it out! It's done! Finished! Complete! And ready for you to get your hands on them while supplies last!


Alex Warble: cover
Julio C. Lopes
Kevin Barrios
Jose Ortiz
Chris Gianelloni
Diana Laino
Dan Berry
Nathan Malone
Oscar Diaz
Luis Castanon
Hans Van Harken
Nathanial Milburn
Michael Swain
Steven Bryant
Alyssa Zevallos
Tyler Naugle
Ola Olsen Lysgaard
Jarred JohnsonTyler Copes
Richard Sun
Corey Griffin
Vincent Charrot
Joe Sparrow
Ansel Matson Lies

Reviews have spilled! Artists all over say "YOU GOT ONE SHOT TO GET 'ONE SHOT'!"

read the following!

"I never thought it'd be the day I'd find so many artists all surpass me in every art skill I contain in just one book. I'm gonna off myself, Mates!"
-Adam Philips

"I didn't think that German Fag would actually finish, Mate."
-Ross O'Donnavan


"boo. no entiendo el ingles."

"I'm buying one cause I want to have the pleasure of shooting something as close to inhumanly cool as this."


"fuck off Hans"

and best of all, the picture below shows that RTIL and KIRBOPHER approve!


Posted by AlmightyHans - February 10th, 2009

'One Shot' is ODD Comics' first issue. It is a collaborative piece involving over 20 artists, most of them from the Newgrounds community. I just finished sending each artist who contributed [and provided me their mailing info] their own free copy and send a box-load of them to Tom Fulp to sell in the NG store.

This box contains the first 50 copies of the first issue, each of these 50 stamped with the ODD Comics seal in black ink by hand. I put lots of care into these things, put them in plastic, stamped the protective cardboard, slipped it in, taped it shut. multiply that process by 100. I'm very excited and thankful for Tom's generous help with these comics. We'll all see where this goes.


Posted by AlmightyHans - February 5th, 2009

Gamer Tag: AlmightyHans

Games: Castle Crashers, Halo 2, Left 4 Dead, Elder Scrolls Oblivion.

befriend me xbox-wise and feel free to kick my ass.

Posted by AlmightyHans - January 30th, 2009

Hi everyone!

-Let me start off by saying [that i really like your form] that I haven't been online this week because I'm in the middle of moving. Moving from Emeryville (Pixar Land) to Kensington, just north of Berkeley California. It's a really nice place and i love the neighborhood. So I've been scrambling about moving stuff left and right. And I am really happy to have been chosen for this. It's a fun opportunity.

-Second, I finally own an Xbox 360. A Nintendo 64 is awesome, don't get me wrong. But after having only that for basically 2 years, and playing it on a shitty little flickery fuzzy screen... it gets old. I bought myself a nice 20 incher and my Xbox 360 and a copy of Left 4 Dead which I find to be a very special game. Simply because it's right on the edge of being plain repetitive, but isn't. I'll review that fully later.

-In other news, Tom made me a Judge for the 2008 NG Tank Awards, just in case you didn't catch that. So I'm dissecting away at all the nominations. Also, thanks to whoever wrote my description in the Judge list. :3 whatta shwell guy.

-Best for Last! I received the 100 copies of 'One Shot' Comic books, and with some of the corrections I made, they look sweller than ever. I even bought plastic cases and cardboard fillers so that the issue you buy will be clean, crisp, and in tact.

I have an idea of making an official stamp to press on the back of the cardboard inside the plastic making an "Odd Comics Seal of Original Print" logo. Tell me what you guys think. Would that be a good idea? It would require waiting a bit more to buy in the store because I need to make the stamp. But it could be a really cool addition to your purchase.

Here's a picture of me being glorified by the Godly aura of the box full of books:


Posted by AlmightyHans - January 22nd, 2009

"Good-bye Great Britain, Hello San Fag-cisco."

That's right, I arrived yesterday from what has to be a fantastic week of my life. Every London Meet just gets better and better. Thanks Lu. As totally fucking sweet it was hanging out with some old NGers (or N****rs), I have to say it was equally cool meeting new friends. It was a fun mixture of drinking, brainstorming, drawing, walking, drinking, talking, and Newgrounds. But what else is new with the NG meet-ups?

Most of the staff I had already seen at comic con, briefly though. Tim and Rob were two n00bies to my 'list of people I know' library. Although I didn't get to spend as much time with Tim (besides watching shape movies in Luis' bedroom), Rob I got to talk to quite a bit, and I can say he's the definition of 'Cool Person'. So being that he's the newest edition to the NG staff from what I recollect, let's give him a nice uber delayed welcome.

One of my favorite nights was the Karayoke Bar. Not only did we get to experience Tom Fulp shake his ass for Luka's camera to a funky song I can't remember the name of now, but I managed to make an ass of myself and Butcher the o' so glorious song 'Piano Man' by Billy Joel.

It was really hard for me to say good-bye that last day, after spending some time at the sports bar in the very loud Eagles/Cardinals game, Me, Nogfish, Sqeezy, Tom Vian, Rob, NegativeOne, Luis' sister and a couple others headed out for a more quiet pub and I had my last drink before meeting up with my uncle. It's hard saying good-bye to such good people. Especially when I know coming back home to California I got no friends waiting.

The day before I left I walked all around London, and I mean ALL around. It was beautiful, I sure am going to miss that place. Now I'm back home, and I've decided to have fresh start. Today is my new year, the 'official' start of it at least. A number of things really. My family and I are moving to a new house, not a small crammed apartment, a decent one in Berkeley. I'm getting this Comic book thing going because Tom Fulp gave me the green light on selling them in the NG store. I'm getting a new job, and a handful of projects.

And to really give myself a 'fresh start' feeling. I shaved my head.

oh btw, my old header with jesus tearing himself out of the cross was all sarcasm, I'm not really religious.

Back from London!