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a Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "make me one with everything"

Hans Van Harken @AlmightyHans

31, Male

Joined on 8/6/04

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AlmightyHans's News

Posted by AlmightyHans - April 25th, 2008

HAVAHA.COM went through a minor update...

On the Additional Content list, you will find the "Imagery", and "Extra Crap" sections. Imagery links to the mysterious deviant art account I have that basically no one knows about... until now. Then there's the "Extra Crap" basically it's a list of unfinished or unofficial movies. I'll be updating that periodically since I have SO much shit I can put up there.

My deviant art currently doesn't have as much content as I hoped, but I am filling it up with weird wonders, it's just too much work scanning all my stuff i draw in my notebooks. I'll see if i can pick out some of the best. For now, i'd say there's a good amount of content. I'll try to attach some kind of photo album/slideshow, too.

What's left of my long lost "Pirates of the Pitiful Parody", a 10 minute long epic joke on Dead Man's Chest, is in the Extra Crap Section. Because of Flash's piece of crap crappiness, Everything else was unexplainably lost.

I hope you enjoy some of the new content, tell me what you think by posting a comment.


Posted by AlmightyHans - April 17th, 2008

oh mah gad...

...Stamper's penis. Being that he is one of the gods of dick jokes. He's apparently quite the flasher, in both meanings (flash animating and open to displaying his genitals). Yes the "prick" wasn't quite open enough to show it off. but it was just generally unexpected for me, mainly funny. I just pictured the guy choking his chicken to get a solid boner just capture this on film.

Stamper you sick fuck, why are you so god damn funny.

Funny video by the way, where i saw this.

...just let me know if posting about this bugs you [Stamper].



Posted by AlmightyHans - April 8th, 2008

ok guys. for those of you who might not know what this is about, check out this post.
Due to lack of finished pages, the final due date has been pushed to May 11th. if you're on the list and you're out, just post a comment mentioning that. if you're still in post a comment saying so.


by the way. i'll be editing this list below with the people who are being cut out and inserted and the free spaces available. You can come back periodically to see how it's going this list below will be the OFFICIAL list:

1-Matt Jolly (Krinkels)------------IN THE WORKS


3-ZekeySpaceLizard-------------IN THE WORKS

4-Steve Bryant---------------------UNKOWN

5-Ross (RubberNinja)-----------FORGE TFUL BASTARD!!!

6-RJ Palmer (Arvalis)-------------LAZY BASTARD!!

7-Vincent Charrot

8-Buzzwerd-------------------------RED OING

9-Alyssa Zevallos

10-Nathaniel Milburn

11-Caleb Conheady-------IN THE WORKS

12-Ola Lysgaard

13-Mrat------------------------IN THE WORKS

14-MindChamber---------IN THE WORKS

15-The Swain-------------Jus t signed up... noob...

16-Tystarr-------------------Just signed up... another noob...

17-Danomano-------------NEAR COMPLETE


19-BR-----------------------------JUST joined.

20-Ansel--------------------------Anot her noob.

21-BritishMoose-----------------i had forgotten to add this dude.

22-Zaghawa-------------------- NEAR COMPLETE

23-LiLg----------------------------- IN THE WORKS


25-Hans Van Harken------ Trying to put this whole thing together....

WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH YOUR PAGE EMAIL IT TO hansvanharken@hotmail.com and title your email:

"(your name) for ONE SHOT"


ONE SHOT comic collab final due date

Posted by AlmightyHans - April 1st, 2008

Posted by AlmightyHans - March 28th, 2008

Luis started one of his infamous collabs, this time around an art contest for Pico Day. Danomano was showing me his work and i ended up getting an idea, so i threw this together in about an hour. tell me what you guys think.

*self observation*

"yeah i gues all i did was a hans render of it. i should have acually redesigned and brought Hans to the max. i think i put more effort in rethinking the backgrounds than the actual character. i dunno i kinda started it off as a practical joke when i drew the tankman guy and then i actually started personalising when i continued on the backgrounds and turned out alltogether better than what i was expecting myself to do, leading to me now regreting i went too "traditional" for the character's look instead of personalizing it."

Pico Art Contest

Posted by AlmightyHans - March 20th, 2008

FOr a very long time all my favorites were inaccurate. from newgrounds submissions to favorite movies music games books blah blah blah.

I finally went through stuff and came up with what i can almost feel safe to consider are my favorites. Of course, it's always hard to specifically come up with your all time favorites of things, but i think it gives a good idea of my tastes in the state all my favorites are currently in. Go ahead and check them out if you wish.

As for the movies section i have 10 live action and 5 animation movies for the favorites. just in case you didn't notice.

Posted by AlmightyHans - March 20th, 2008

You suck Mr. Fulp... why'd you rape those poor men? :(

don't believe me guys? go here.

Why, Tom? WHY!?

Posted by AlmightyHans - March 11th, 2008

Hey everyone,

I had made this short film in Scotland last summer (2007) that I am really proud of. I think, given the circumstances, it turned out extremely well. The actors were just students in the summer course, except for Gus, the main character (who i think did a surprisingly well job), but it was his first try at something serious. Anyways the movie was written in 4 days, filmed in 3, and edited in one night.

It's a "B-horror movie" style thriller with some hints of dark comedy. And ended up being the winner of "Best Picture" and "Best Cinematography" of the International Summer School of Scotland Awards.

Now I want you to be the judge of it so watch it here.

Posted by AlmightyHans - March 5th, 2008

Hi everyone.

First off, "Shorts To Wear Pants To" a collaboration lead by squeaky toad that i took part in has just been finished, you can watch it by clicking this word.

For those of you fans who are waiting for the next 3 parts following the series. I have good news. You don't have to wait so long for each of the 3 following parts because there will only be one more following part!

Yes, I'm cutting down the series. This may seem bad, but in reality what I'm doing is cutting it down to the core of the better material. I really thought the movie could use a good "chizzling". I for one, am not up for working on 20 minutes of Halo. But mainly, I'm dropping doing video game parodies, IAHT 2/2 and my part for TSAH3 are my last parodies. I have way too many of my own ideas i want to put in action. I had my share, did my own parodies, and i am more than satisfied, in short, I've had enough.

I know that this is going to be very saddening for many fans or people awaiting for a full-blown 20 minutes of halo fun. But take it as a positive, because instead of having 20 minutes of a few scattered laughs it'll be something like 8-10 minutes of basically only laughs!

Also, thank Squeaky Toad, who helped a lot on IAHT 1/2 on animating, who encouraged me and to actually make a 2nd and final establishment for the movie. I originally was just going to completely shut down. But he helped me realize it's never any good to just drop something where it stands and at least leave a closure to a project.

Finally, I hope that everyone understands me and doesn't get too pissed. Because I will blow peoples minds with the stuff i've got cooking for ending my parodies.... but especially, my own work.

With much love, and loads of...every thing.
-Hans Van Harken

It's a Halo Thing sequel NEWS

Posted by AlmightyHans - February 13th, 2008

Hey guys, i just made this in school today i thought it turned out interesting as short as it is. but check it out!

New Submission!