View Profile AlmightyHans
a Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "make me one with everything"

Hans Van Harken @AlmightyHans

31, Male

Joined on 8/6/04

Exp Points:
1,328 / 1,350
Exp Rank:
Vote Power:
5.36 votes
Town Watch
Global Rank:
B/P Bonus:
2y 11m 23d

AlmightyHans's News

Posted by AlmightyHans - June 16th, 2008

Mr. Hans has much to show!

1. Mario Math

2. Ultra Vision

3. Buzzwerm

4. Love of Rats

5. Rosser

6. Rossie

7. Tomosexual

-to me, this is where they start getting a bit better-

8. "Say Good-bye"

9. Robots

10. Frozen Landscapes of the Future

11. Gabe

12. Brother?

13. Mr. Pinker

There you are! 13 shitty things for a recently passed Friday the 13th. Now comment and go fuck yourself.


New Crazy Artwork by Mr. Hans

Posted by AlmightyHans - June 12th, 2008

Hey everyone,

all the Awesome movie fans can finally rest in peace because a "Grand Theft Awesome" movie has finally been made! Only not by Egoraptor, but by Chris O'Neill, and I was chosen to do the voices! So check it out and enjoy.

New Movie By Chris O'Neill

Posted by AlmightyHans - June 9th, 2008


M. Night Shyamalan's new movie "The Happening" has too many similarities with this short film I made in Scotland during the summer of 2007. It won 'best picture' and 'best cinematography' in the course that summer. You can see it here on my site.

The happening is a horror/thriller/disaster movie, and it's about people killing themselves for some reason all over the world. Now here's the spoiler: apparently (get it? a parent) these people killing themselves is a chemical or spore in a plant that spreads throughout people and that's what makes them kill themselves.

In my movie instead of a plant, it's a parasite that grows in your brain and at full growth takes over your brain and makes you kill yourself.

one thing that struck me was when i made my movie, a goal i had was to give it a sort of traditional kind of feeling like "The Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)".

Mr. M. Night mentioned a similar thing, that he wanted to make this a more traditional horror and used "The Invasion Of the Body Snatchers" example.

I guess it just kinda surprised me, and saddened me at the same time, because i tend to hate M. Night's movies, there are a few good or okay one's. But i hope he doesn't make a ridicule out of an idea i made and thought had potential. The thing about M. Night is that he has potential ideas, but they aren't at all engaging or captivating, and the conclusions of his movies are just like a 180 degree twist that when you are presented with it you find yourself facing back at the rest of the movie and realize how pointless all that build up was.

anyways. watch my movie so that you can understand the similarities between this and the Happening when you watch it.

M. Night is a Thief!

Posted by AlmightyHans - May 27th, 2008

I drew up some more fucked up shit.

1. Colors Suck

2. I'm Melting

3. Super Gigantic Pretzel Man

4. Dog-Eat-Dog

5. Egg Trail

6. Oshiyari Neko

7. Something In The Woods

8. Riddler

9. Pink Adventure

let me know what you guys think. :)

Also, a very good German friend of mine Xamuel is doing official German dubs of the "Awesome Series", complete with Egoraptor's golden permission. But he stumbled over Awesome's Creed and dubbed it. I thought he did a fantastic job! Let's see what you think:

/* */
also, this is lame:

/* */

Posted by AlmightyHans - May 19th, 2008

I was interviewed by Meryl from Metal Gear Awesome, also known as "Rina". I can't say how completely honored I am. you can listen to it here.

I have to confess, i hate the way i speak.


Posted by AlmightyHans - May 13th, 2008

Arvalis, is how he goes by on the internet. And he just made a short video podcast about gameplay vs. graphics in video games. I put this up here because I'm a self centered little fuck and I appear in it. Nah, really I thought it turned out well and should be "patted on the back". I made a podcast myself a few terms ago already, though I can't seem to get a hold of it, maybe eventually I'll find it and put it on youtube. But for now, check out this one:

/* */
OH! I found my podcast! it's right here:

Posted by AlmightyHans - May 11th, 2008

Hello everyone,

My time of being laid back, and merciful is up. The "ONE SHOT" Comic Collab page is due today. You are to email it to me at hansvanharken@hotmail.com and TITLE YOUR EMAIL: "ONE SHOT:(insert name here)" . ALSO NAME YOUR FILE you own name for example my file would be named "HansVanHarken.png" with the capitals. Or it will become a HUGE pain for me to know whose comic is whose.

If by any chance you didn't finish today and STILL want to do it, but you just didn't have enough time. PM me saying this and we will negotiate.

If you are not going to be able to do it. Just say it now, so i can have more time to make plans for it. don't be a chicken shit, it's ok if your bailing out, i won't be mad or anything. i'll be mad if you keep asking for an extension on the due date and then finally quit. so now's you chance to say "i'm not being in this fucking collab Hans"

Tom, if you're reading this, please have your ad art finished by the end of may (May 30th) if that isn't too soon, if it is, PM me.

I hope most of you actually did yours. I guess only time will tell if that is true. Thanks everyone who cooperated, and those you you who had trouble, but really want to still make yours... i'll do my best to squeeze you in. We are running at a time scale here.

Here's a list that i'll use to keep track of who's done. the underlined lettering one's and an "X" instead of a number are the one's who are done, and I have their work in my computer. If you are done, but don't see your number crossed out. then you NEED to let me know and make sure i get the file.




X-Corey Griffin

X-Ross (RubberNinja)


X-Vincent Charrot


X-Alyssa Zevallos

X-Nathaniel Milburn

11-Caleb Conheady

X-Ola Lysgaard



X-The Swain










25-Hans Van Harken

also, my hand has sadly morphed to a pringles can...


Posted by AlmightyHans - May 8th, 2008

"Ojos" is "eyes" in Spanish. but if you pronounce it with an american "J" (Oh-joe's) i thought it sounded peculiar. But anyways, i have recently been shown this video by ZeakySpaceLizard. It has to be just about the weirdest, funniest, creepiest thing i've ever seen coming from a television in my entire life. you can find what i am describing by clicking the following words if you dare: gay-sex-videos

[for all you homophobes, it's not really gay porn, jesus!]

"me scrooble now!"

My Ojos!

Posted by AlmightyHans - May 7th, 2008

It's funny. There are a good handful of people i noticed who took my latest movie "Big NG Package" as if it were some kind of viral marketing made to sell Newgrounds Products. Instantly, these self claimed independent, intellectuals believed that selling products was the purpose of my movie so they excluded themselves from appreciating it, simply because they feel inferior having a product presented to them. I just want to say that this video is in no way trying to sell anything.

[-just a little side note- I also did play the role of the over excited Newgrounds/Awesome fan-boy. Surprisingly, some people didn't get that...]

First off, I wasn't paid to do this. Second, i don't work for Newgrounds. Third, I only realized this movie could be portrayed as a commercial until I started importing the finished video into flash. This movie was completely on the spot, improvised, and done in a short period of time. I literally just filmed myself opening my package and did goofy, and in other words stupid stuff. Just because I realized that this could be seen as an ad for Newgrounds products, didn't mean i was just not going to finish the movie.

Now, I know I should have expected reviews like those, and I did. And I'm completely okay with them, they're just other opinions after all. I just want to clarify that this movie, by no means, was made to be a Newgrounds ad, commercial or anything of the sort. And i know maybe I responded maybe a little too rough to some of those people, but i just had some steam to blow inside me.

this is a conversation I had with ZeakySpaceLizard when I first read some of the reviews. And yes... I was infuriated at the time. And yes, i needed to blow some steam...


Posted by AlmightyHans - May 2nd, 2008

"7th - $500: - The Press & Punch Collab
We've talked around the office about doing a feature length Pico movie this way, but Hans actually delivered by pulling together this epic Pico collab! I love the varying art styles, and choose-your-adventure interactivity!"

ok... what? Pico feature length? 500$? 7th? Wow, this collab turned out much better than i expected. Thank you Tom, Thank you Newgrounds. I really appreciate this support. not only to us behind the Press and Punch Collab, but to every artist on Newgrounds. It's events like these and many others that you create that make Newgrounds more than just a website.

As for the prize money, this is just a mini message for the artists in the Press and Punch Collab about splitting the money. PM about this.

Wow, it seems that the Tank awards (or what i thought was a good idea, Shermans) nominies are finally here. it seems like they've got a very broad selection of best movies. I personally can't think of the one i'd vote for at the moment. But it seems that Waterlollies has an extremely high chance of winning.

JUST IN CASE you didn't catch the collab. check it out here...

I can't think of anything else to add for now, maybe i'll come back later.