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a Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "make me one with everything"

Hans Van Harken @AlmightyHans

31, Male

Joined on 8/6/04

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AlmightyHans's News

Posted by AlmightyHans - July 2nd, 2010

*Face Palm*

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Oh My God...

Posted by AlmightyHans - June 18th, 2010

I was stopped in the street walking by an apple store and some gay lisped guy interviewed me about the new iFone For. I totally exaggerated my words for the shits and giggles. I was curious how the editor would edit my words. mainly i complained about steve jobs being too much of a pussy to full open new doors and include flash player to the iphone. now, in this interview it looks like i'm one of those people who camps out in front of store to buy a plastic square. thought it was funny.

check it out.

btw i don't ever camp out to buy something.

Oh yeah, I was on the Wall Street Journal

Posted by AlmightyHans - June 18th, 2010

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Bless his soul and taste of beer.

In Loving Memory of Dennis Hopper

Posted by AlmightyHans - June 8th, 2010

I'm scared of spoiling anything so I'll copy paste the Synopsis for the movie.

"director Vincenzo Natali offers up another visual feast with this sci-fi thriller starring acclaimed actors Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley. SPLICE follows a pair of scientists who have found success with creating genetic hybrids of various animals. When they attempt to add human DNA to the their formula, the results are both surprising and potentially destructive."

"CUBE" I can comfortably say if my favorite Thriller of all time. Sadly the director Vincenzo Natali doesn't have much under his belt, and I have been craving to see more of his work. He blew me away with Splice.

SPLICE is comforting to me in many ways. It's a movie that tackles one of my favorite genres, one that I thought had been dead since the late 90's. I guess a good way of referring to it is the "Science Gone Wrong" genre. There's been a lot of those recently, but they tend to be Apocalyptic. To me that changes it. Rather than "Matrix", or "Terminator", or any of those Apocalyptic scaled stories, SPLICE is more like "The Fly", "The Thirteenth Floor", "Event Horizon" or "From Beyond".

Those movies mentioned tend to have more of a campy tone. Like "Mad Scientist" feel to it, more or less in each of those obviously. The first great thing Splice does is set up the story with characters that are more grounded, and yes, isn't afraid to have fun with itself but treat its situations without cheesiness. For example, the Facility that the main character's work in is named with the initials N.E.R.D. This might seem campy, but actually perfectly illustrates the type of people that work there. These aren't up tight bland scientists, nor are they eccentric crazy scientists type. Like I said, they're young, grounded people who happen to be biology geniuses.

SPLICE clearly deals with gene splicing. Now, what this means is these scientists are trying to basically create and grow organisms like vegetables. This is very contemporary and new to our generation. And with something that concerns manipulating something with as many variables as life, so many things can be unpredictable and scary. This movie delivers in setting those tones.

In fact this movie is so dense in undertones and themes. I can't even begin to list them. It's the kind of movie that I'm sure I'll catch things I didn't catch the first time I watched it. I'm going to start listing a few to give you an idea.

There's playing God. Adam and Eve-like relationship. Conflicting morality when breaking new grounds (no pun intended). Parent hood. Male and female roll-reversal. Nature vs. Nurture. Pet vs. Child.

... I can go on forever.

The point is, this isn't just a piece of entertainment. Not just a creature feature about it's thrills. It's saying something and doing it god damn well. The story is so well put together and I feel achieves in spending en Shamalon ough time on each scene. There are lots of twists and turns in the story. But non of them feel like a punch in the nuts. Everything is foreshadowed, everything makes complete sense. It's not an ambiguous movie in structure, and it's especially not ambiguous in the sense where there's nothing there and you need to interpret. In fact, there's so much content there that you need to interpret it yourself. It's my favorite kind of movie. Simple on the outside, complex on the inside.

While I do love this movie, the ending was definitely not disappointing, but something inside me felt it was a bit lacking. It's probably because the last 30 minutes of the movie was hell for me because I had never in my life had to take a leak so god damn bad. I was literally about to give up and pee on the floor.

...Seriously, now that movies are getting longer, they need to bring back the intermission trend. it's retarded. Back in spain long movies had intermissions. you could take a break, smoke talk with your friends about what your thoughts are so far, then go back in.

It's important to note that this movie evolves into a horror movie towards the end. while some of you might find all these themes and undertones a pretentious thing in a movie. with a story tackling such a new phenomenon, i think it's important to start off playing with the possibilities and working its way to a set tonal conclusion... if that makes sense.

But anyways. To wrap up this thing. If you like "Science Gone Wrong" movies, If you like creatures, eerie, movies that create the biggest sense of mixed feelings about things. Watch this movie, it's a fucking classic to me. I think a lot of movies in the future will look back at this one for inspiration.

I've been reading a lot of reviews and i have noticed a lot of the bad reviews are pointing out that the movie was too eerie and didn't know how to handle itself. But I feel they're reflecting on their own emotions while they were watching it. The subject matter is naturally that way. When you set out to make a movie that is morally conflicting, you have to expect to run into those feelings. I think this film made these uncomfortable situations in good taste, as opposed to something like... THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE!

anyways. I'm done.

"SPLICE" a Review by Hans Van Harken

Posted by AlmightyHans - May 23rd, 2010

As if it might matter to anyone out there,

I finished another semester for my film school in San Francisco. And, a lot has happened. One, I had a shocking surprise coming back from the Tank Awards in Philly. My brother, during that same weekend, had gone to Mexico to visit the fam. When we both came back to San Francisco my brother told me he got a job in Guadalajara (a great one I might ad) and is moving the next week over there. That meant I would be living completely on my own in SF. This was big, never done this before. With the semester coming to an end, another bit of information came as well. 90% of my friends (4) broke the news that they are moving out of the city back home and not coming back to school. So, All of a sudden this new life hit me straight in the face again, right when I was getting settled.

But, it's not all that bad. I recently got a job to be a Production Assistant for an MTV show being filmed in NYC throughout the month of July. The show is called "My Life As Liz". Now, Production Assistant is just a fancy word for Grunt Worker, but basically I'll cover any aspects of the shooting process they'll need me in. I'm excited to be on set of a tv show. Very I picture it being an enriching experience. [pardon the cheese]

Animated project-wise...

-As usual I've got a handful of projects I'm dealing with. Mainly however, I'm trying to finish this cartoon we all made up on the last day of the Philly/Tank Awards meet. I'm collaborating with Oney on the animation.

-A second possible (emphasis on possible) side project is this Robot Day thing. As previously stated however, I'm going to be gone durring the month of july, so, I'm gonna try and make something and submit it a bit earlier. Hopefully, that'll still count.

-I'm still finishing up some cartoon I started a while ago.

-lastly, I got this idea for a Pico day submission for next year that's Tankmen related. You can learn about it by checking out the concept art I submitted to the Art Portal. click the following words to see each one: suck my dick, fucko

Hopefully, Jeff will continue being interested in the idea enough to collaborate on that.

Obviously I've been slower than usual on putting stuff on NG because of school. I hope you can forgive that if that happens to bother anyone.

Thanks for wasting time reading this.

p.s. I'm still holding off on the first episode of "The T". I want that mother fucker to come out perfect...

oh... p.p.s. I am planning on becoming a lot more dedicated to voice acting in other people's cartoons now. If anyone needs voices send me a script and we can discuss thing's further I'd love to provide. I figure if I can't animate as frequently, might as well voice act.


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Posted by AlmightyHans - April 19th, 2010

Hello everyone. Just in case some of you didn't know. I'm going to film school in San Francisco and have been making some stuff. This one project I filmed a couple months ago has been done for a while, but I really wanted to give it an original score. At the moment I have some temporary musical pieces that I thought captured the tone I was looking for. But I am really looking into finding someone that can create the right music for it.

I have temporarily put up a very squashed shitty quality version of the short on youtube so you can get the jist of what it's like and stuff. But if you're really interested. contact me through PM i'll give you my skype or msn or aim or whatever. There I can send you a proper quality version and we can discuss what your thoughts for the music are. I am not going to pay, this is all just for fun and making a Short film completely original. Maybe you're new and would like to go through the process of making music for an existing live action sequence. I dunno. but here is the short:

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On a side note, the credit song you don't have to worry about I am planning to keep that, but if you want to go the extra length and maybe you have an idea for a song in the credits. go ahead. Take this whole post as a MUSIC CASTING sort of scenario. I want to hear different people's ideas for their takes and i'll choose who i think would be more fitting.

REQUIREMENTS: I would like to get this music in by mid MAY. And you need to have some previous music already created for me to hear, unless you're someone I know and have heard your work.

FINALLY. on another side note. this is a documentary project i did for school. I hate making documentarys and struggled coming up with an idea. I realized wondercon was going on 2 days before the due date of this beast. So i pulled this video out of my ass and thankfully got a B+. It actually turned out to be quite fun to make.

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Posted by AlmightyHans - March 24th, 2010

I can't believe Cripple Kane got nominated. I thought after it missed the monthly award that movie was history. I guess finishing it paid off. And staff pick... jesus. it's already so god damn exciting to be going to Philly for the event, but now my stupid cowboy movie is also nominated. Seriously thanks to all you guys for enjoying the movie. I got to admit, this means a lot to me.

i'm pretty much speechless...

Posted by AlmightyHans - March 17th, 2010

A nath is growing on my head.

News Post

Posted by AlmightyHans - February 14th, 2010

I found this and realized what an epic battle it was.

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Posted by AlmightyHans - February 4th, 2010

I made an animation reel. never made one before, but i thought it turned out quite thrilling. I'd like to see what you think.

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