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a Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "make me one with everything"

Hans Van Harken @AlmightyHans

31, Male

Joined on 8/6/04

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AlmightyHans's News

Posted by AlmightyHans - April 3rd, 2011

So I am back in SF from Barcelona, Spain.

The trip was totally awesome. Really refreshing and im readier than ever to get back here, get shit done, and move on.

As far as projects go, I'm really gonna buckle down on Ace Pilot ep1 and get that done asap. Among other things. But i really wanna get that done. It's like, a baby that needs to be born.

I'm honored to be a judge for the Tank awards this year, that's something really exciting. Just as exciting as it'll be to go to Philly on Pico Day and attend the event. Can't wait to see everyone at the office. This year looks like it'll be pretty damn packed. I'm interested to see how that pans out. I'll be going with Kevin (Buzzwerd) on the same flight and such to Philly.

Anyways, I hope a lot of people were made an ass of on April fools day. That's a comforting thought.

Posted by AlmightyHans - March 23rd, 2011

i´ll be here for a few days. visiting some old friends, things are amazing here.

Posted by AlmightyHans - March 16th, 2011

but it thought this was funny. Just two days ago I got a minor food poisoning and was puking my guts out for the past two days. I think there is something really wrong with my luck. maybe i need to fix it by betting all my money in black jack.

Posted by AlmightyHans - March 4th, 2011

So I'm finally cured of pneumonia. Sad thing is, now that I can get back to work... my tablet broke. So sucks balls having to buy a new one. but it's a must i assume.

Secondly, I discovered that I need to renew my Spanish I.D. so that I don't lose my European citizenship and can't work in Europe where I'll eventually escape the fucking disgusting west coast. So I need to do an emergency trip back to Barcelona and do that. I leave March 20th and come back April 10th

It's weird going back to Barcelona. I've moved so much in my life, but Barcelona has been where I stayed the longest I've ever been anywhere. (5 years) from 12 years old to 17. So it's where I'm most familiar and the closest I can call home. I've been away from Barcelona for about 3 years now. That's long enough for time to do what it does to things and make it feel like a distant memory. Which is a weird feeling.

I'm incredibly excited to go, and will actually be staying there a bit extra to catch up with old friends, and see the sites, and generally disconnect for a while from the overwhelming place that is San Francisco. I have no direct problems with San Francisco, nor do I think it's a shitty place. In fact, it's got some great things. Overall, however, I have realized that it's just too culturally different or clashing to what I prefer to live with. So it'll be a nice break for me to be back in Barcelona, which is closer to what I'm comfortable with.

It's been an incredibly rough start to the new year. A lot of crap that I will NOT get into happened this past year and since the Ball dropped at midnight, things just got worse. On top of that I got dangerously sick which left me a lot of time to think about while I lied in bed... and that didn't help either. Apparently, mood swings is a symptom of pneumonia... yeah.... weird.

But now that I feel better, my head is clearing, and i'm personally sorting shit out. It's been really intense, and the doctor said stress was probably the reason I got so sick so easily. But I guess that's life. You hit these hurdles of problems. Jumping over them just trains you to increase your height. Soon, problems that seemed big before you hop over no problem.

Anyways, enough metaphorical bullshit. I'll see anyone who's going to the Tank Awards in Philly.

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Also. I changed my User Page Picture.

below is a picture of me dressed as a pirate when I was like... 4

I'm CURED! Also, more big news!

Posted by AlmightyHans - February 26th, 2011

I had a doctors appointment yesterday... boy what a day. First off, it was one of those deceiving San Francisco days where you look out the window, and it's Sunny and beautiful. You walk out the door, and a chilling wind rushes by you and shrinks your balls. I made sure I headed over 2 hours before my appointment cause I dont have a car and i needed to hail a cab... and that ain't usually easy in this town.

Took me about 45 minutes to finally get one. Standing in the whipping cold was miserable, but i arrived to the hospital.

There, the doctors greeted me with 3 shots (I really really hate needles) and drew blood for an HIV test. Then I got my chest X-rayed a full body checkup, They ended up calling me later that day confirming my theory was right, and that I did have pneumonia. Being in the hospital was miserable, I've always had a fear of hospital/medical/doctor related things. Seeing people walking around depressed because they're so near death. It just makes me wish and hope that my death is sudden and unexpected and not prolonged and draining. I also saw this doctor walking by. He had a really intense and pensive expression on his face. I don't know how, but also thank god there's people who actually do the kind of work doctors do. This guy seemed like he just saw a patient he'd worked on for a long time die. Death in a hospital is so normal and often, I could never see myself dealing with that well...

But after all the crap at the hospital happened. This time, I called the cab people to send one over to pick me up, so that I don't have to wait in the cold long. Oh silly me... Fuckin' cab didn't come, after an hour of waiting and coughing in the cold wearing a little mask over my nose and mouth hoping to catch another cab passing by. I called the cab company again. "oh a cab hasn't arrived yet? That's weird, there's a lot in your area at the moment, I'll make sure they come". I waited about 30 min. Nothing. So i just started walking home, sick of it. I waved one cab of the same company that i saw passing by. He stopped, dropped off his fare and then told me his shift was done and couldn't drive me. He drove away.

I walked down the street some more and saw another cab ahead and waved... busy. But thankfully, I heard a beep and realized a cab from another company honked at me, letting me know that he was available. I got in VERY relieved. The car started driving. Then the cab driver dared to say "Sir, the credit card reader is broken, I'm just letting you know that I can only take cash"...

I sighed and told him "Then I'd better get off your cab, Sir. 'cause I don't got enough cash on me."

Thankfully, the guy told me we could stop at an ATM so i can take some cash out so I didn't have to end up leaving the cab.

I went to a friend's house to chill for a bit, eventually the doctor got the X-rays and called me to tell me I in fact did have pneumonia... on BOTH lungs... She told me my meds were waiting for me at the nearest Walgreen's. I was about to get off the couch to go pick them up, but I fell asleep from the exhausting and daunting cab search... Fucking cab's. I warn anyone who goes to San Francisco to never Dial for Yellow Cabs, they never do their job. ANYONE ELSE!DIAL ANYONE ELSE!

So I got my meds today, but also in my received medical requirements was an inhaler. It's the first time i ever use one. But yeah I also need to use the inhaler to loosen up the crap in my lungs so it can slip out easier and I can breathe.

So, let's hope I don't die and these meds work.

It's official! I have pneumonia!

Posted by AlmightyHans - February 23rd, 2011

So a lot of my creative progress is being slowed down because I've been sick for like... 3 weeks.

At first I just got a fever and some runny nose. But I slept in and got rid of my fever, etc etc.

I walked out to grab some food one night and got caught in the cold, miserable, rain. My sickness came back, but this time with a cough. I tried getting rid of it how i did before, but then a week passed... then a second week... Mucus was spilling out of my lungs with every cough. Every 15 seconds, for three weeks, I've coughed... this causes abdominal cramps and headaches that make you feel like your skull plates are shifting. I didn't know what the fuck was going on. Why couldn't I shake this flu off.

Apparently, my flu has developed into a viral pneumonia. fucking sucks. There's no direct medication for Viral Pneumonia, I need to just rest, drink fuck loads of water, and take pain killers for the muscle cramps and headaches...

I hope I get cured soon. Cause I got lots to do. I'm working on some iPhone games and I might be an extra as a Spanish Soldier with a friend for a Movie Directed by Philip Kaufman, with Clive Owen and Nicole Kidman. That'd be cool to be a part of.

Ace Pilot is also on hold on my part. I've been trying to figure out different ways of approaching animating the cutscenes. They are also a LOT of cutscenes.... and i mean A LOT.

anyways, below is a picture of me sick.

Posted by AlmightyHans - January 29th, 2011

So Originally the "Team Room" consistd of:

Kevin Barrios : Music
Hans Van Harken : Sound Design/Voice
Nathaniel Milburn : Animation

And we were chosen to write the Cave Man story, by Fred Flintstone. But, Nathaniel Milburn couldnt be a part of it and we didnt decide to work on the Cave Man story due to 'creative differences'...

NOW! Our exciting team consists of:

Kevin Barrios : Music
Hans Van Harken : Sound Design/Voice
AJennyPenny : Animation

We changed our story to "From Bad To Worst" by TropicalPenquin

And my good friend Andy Ojst (AOR on newgrounds) is helping us with the project. Helping us put the 5 sentences into script/story form. Finding sound effects for the cartoon and general stuff that provide loads of awesome help. Special thanks to him.

We're having a blast making this! We'll see how it turns out.

Posted by AlmightyHans - January 10th, 2011

Kim Jong Krill has been cast! I'd like to sincerely thank everyone who participated, and hope to work with you in future projects!

I want to let everyone know that I will be twittering updates on ace pilot on my account. So follow me on twitter (HaVaHa) to know the latest news in the process of making this game, he'll if you follow us, we might even hire you as testers when the time comes and will be credited as so.

Posted by AlmightyHans - January 5th, 2011

Hey everyone! Yet another spontaneous Ace pilot casting call has come!

This time however, we aren't looking for a female vocalist, we're actually looking into casting our main villain for this Fantastic Space Opera!

Due too unfortunate technical difficulties on our previous voice actor and creator of this game (Justin Pruitt) we're forced to recast so we can continue work flow and meet our aimed due dates.

The villain is Kim Jong Krill, he is the incompetent but devious leader of the Krill, a species of North Korean/Tentacle Monster cross-breed. Much like Team America's Kim Jong Hill, he will have an Engrish Accent, but we aren't going for an exact impersonation. We're looking for voice actors who are willing to bring something new to the table as far as Kim Jong Hill caricatures go.

As previously stated, we are recasting this character to meet due dates, so if you're interested and chosen, we expect an efficient and responsive voice actor. Skype calls are encouraged for discussing lines, delivery and all that great stuff.

We're really excited to hear what you guys got. Kim might seem like a typical Kim Jong Hill parody, but he's developed to be a pretty unique character (within his character's concept) and our hearts have a special place for him.

The best way to contact us is to PM me. From there we will provide you with character art, and further description and our skype contact info. We would rather you use some of the following lines to send us as a start and hear your takes. link us to those takes in your PM.

Even if you are not a voice actor, let voice actors you know that you think could pull it off about this post!

(delivery notes: in his childlike voice, he should try to sound mastermind-like and soothingly evil)
1: Now it's time to set our plans in motion. Pilot has made his move... that much I counted on.

(delivery notes: shoutig at his minions annoyed)
2: Who the hell didn't close the fucking blinds?

(delivery notes: mocking, and posing a challenge, just after regaining composure from being humiliated)
3: Laugh while you can, Ace. Laugh while you can... But I doubt you'll feel so jolly when you see the surprises I have in store for you.

(delivery notes: He just flips the fuck out. Smashing things around him...Improvisation is encouraged)
4: Fucking shit ace pilot! you asshole.... (do i need to write this?)

Alright, any further questions, feel free to leave a comment below...

kim jong krill himself, below!

Posted by AlmightyHans - December 28th, 2010

That's right, today's my birthday. And guess what? I'm twenty one. took forever to happen... jeez. Too bad all my friends are gone on vacation to celebrate... but that's why i have you guys right?

side notes.

going to LA for a few days (new years and on).

Ace pilot female vocalist has been decided, thanks for all who participated!

aaaaand.... what else...

i'm leaving, going to drink.
also, fuck you Bandelin